He Came To Corrupt Them Then Became Their Responsible Adult

"Infiltrate the heroes, corrupt them from within.
By dawn, the kingdom will...
Does anyone know which way is north?
The moss points upward.
This may take longer than expected."
He came in black with crimson trim, with poison rings and candles dim.
He forged a smile, concealed his name, and joined the fools to spoil their game.
The rogue had lost the dungeon map.
The bard had packed one silk-lined cap.
The wizard brought 12 cursed antiques.
The fighter hadn’t slept in weeks.
He murmured, "Soon they’ll serve my plan," then took the compass from their hands. "Before I bend you to my
will, we need clean water, rope, and...
Why are you licking that?" "Could be a potion." "That is a door hinge."
He meant to lead their souls astray, but first they had to live a day.
He drew the route in villain red
and counted rations, cloaks, and heads.
He joined the wrong party to lead them astray.
Now he packs their lunches and is saving the day.
He plotted betrayal, wore sinister black, but nobody else remembered the map.
He swore he’d corrupt them by evil design.
Now he schedules their watches and makes them form lines. "I’m not your leader," he shouted in wrath.
They cheered, "Great speech," and followed his path.
They reached a bridge at half-past three.
The sign read, "Troll, five gold in fee." The fighter yelled, "We charge it five." The villain asked, "Why not
pay five?" The bard proposed a song-based coup.
The rogue was underneath it, too.
The wizard warmed a fireball.
He slapped a safety ward on all. "Dead comrades cannot be deceived.
That’s strategy, not care," he seethed.
He paid the toll, obtained a chit, then made the troll put stamps on it.
The party watched with shining eyes.
He beat the bridge with paperwork. "I terrorize through systems."
At camp, he sharpened every blade.
He labeled potions, "Red means hell." The rogue asked, "What was mine?" "That one says stealth."
He joined the wrong party to lead them astray.
Now he packs their lunches and is saving the day.
He plotted betrayal, wore sinister black, but nobody else remembered the map.
Inside the keep, his moment came.
The royal vault, the sacred flame.
He raised the orb that bound the crown, then heard the western tower fall down.
They loosed a wyvern, split apart.
The bard was hanging from a cart.
He could escape, the gate stood wide.
His hidden troops were just outside.
He cursed, put down the Doomsday Stone, and dragged five idiots home.
He shielded children from the blame, then blamed asset control by troll by name. "I saved the town to win its
trust. I stopped the plague because I must.
I fed the poor to build support.
I closed a cult strategic report.
These noble deeds are camouflage.
You also fixed my carriage. Sabotage requires a functioning axle.
You cut my sandwich into stars.
They were throwing knives. They had jam.
Poison-colored jam."
At last, he led them to his lair with iron throne and skulls to spare.
His banners dropped, his soldiers rose.
He struck his grand dramatic pose. "At last, you fools, the truth is clear.
Your darkest enemy stands here.
I joined your ranks to twist each quest, corrupt your hearts, and-" "We guessed." The rogue produced his
wanted sheet. The bard had known since their first meet.
The fighter shrugged, "You brought a tent.
We weighed the evil, 10%." The barbarian hugged his knees. "Also, you remember allergies."
He stared at all the charts he’d made, the bedtime rota, plans, and aid. "You used me," rang his wounded cry.
The rogue said, "Yes." You're very organized.
He joined the wrong party to lead them astray.
Now the kingdom calls him the hero of the day.
He plotted betrayal, wore sinister black.
But nobody else remembered the map.
He swore he'd corrupt them, destroy them in time.
They gave him a medal for reducing town crime. "I am your doom," he roared from the path.
They cheered, "Great speech," and followed him back.
He chose the wrong party, though he won't say why.
With emergency rations and alibis.
He still wears black and rehearses his laugh.
Then makes sure the party has breakfast and baths.
For courage, mercy, and exemplary leadership,
I name you Protector of the Realm.
I was trying to corrupt them.
You taught us workplace safety.
I despise every one of you.
Lunch at noon? Eleven fifty-five.
You chew slowly.